Happy New Year!!!

Here’s hoping that everyone got what they wanted for the holidays. I for one am just glad they are over. The holidays haven’t been my happy place in a long time. Sorry I haven’t been around, but I’m letting you know that I am alive and well, and I will be back before long.

My eldest just got out of the ER, so I have to go out into the freezing cold and take her home.

See you on the netz!!

Once again

I have been ignoring this place. I really don’t mean to, because I love to come here and vent, ramble and rave.

Also, once again, I have no internet at home. With me not working right now, things have been tough. Trying to get the bill paid on one salary bites the big one. After tax time, I can get all the bill paid up and do ok, but its a vicious pattern, and I keep getting caught in it. I just keep job hunting for something that will work for me. But with me being the only driver, and the kids, it just can’t be a regular 9 to 5 job. There are too many doctor appointments and so forth and so on.

I would truly like to work from home, but those jobs are at a premium and most of those are just scams anyways. Why the hell would I want to pay someone to work for them? Makes no sense to me lol.

Thanksgiving is upon us once again. I am planning a big meal at the house. The ex is supposed to be here, and I have invited several friends. There will be pleny of food, so it’ll pretty much be an open door that day.

I will end this by saying that I am very thankful for my life and the people in it. No matter how bad things get, I can always count on them to have my back.

Well, I’ll be

This place is still standing. I haven’t meant to ignore this here. Things have been kinda blah….not boring, but not yay.

Tho, I have had some great times as of late. Took the whole family to NY for a mini vacation. Started as a trip to surprise my ex for his birthday(kids idea). Then I realized that one of my besties lived right there, and her birthday was just before his, so I said lets all go and have an awesome time. Got there Friday, spent the day showing the current husband where I lived, then went out for the night. Got up the next day and took a road trip to NJ….

A bit of a backstory here. My dad died when I was 13. My step mother was pregnant when he died. I knew I had a little brother,but every time I went to find him, I was given the royal runaround. They didn’t know where he was, so forth and so on. Anyways, about a year and a half ago, I decided to make one final search for my brother. I found him on FB. We had talked on the phone a few times, but hadn’t gotten a chance to meet. That’s where the story picks up again.

When I made the trip to NY, I called my brother. On Saturday, after I dropped the kids off with their dad, including my youngest one who doesn’t belong to him because her big sister wanted her, me Joe and my bestie took off for the Jersey shore.

After 29 years, I got to meet my brother. It was probably one of the best days of my life to date. We had pizza and ice cream, walked the Boardwalk to Asbury Park, went to a pinball museum. It was awesome

My husband has never actually been out of the state of Maine. So Susie decided that we were going to take him to Manhattan after we left Jersey. It was so awesome, and amusing to watch my hubby in the middle of Times Square for the first time.

I had such an awesome time, that I almost considered moving back there. If it wasn’t for the schools, I probably would. I hate the schools there tho. Too big and over crowded. I will stay here, as I love my home state. But I’m not opposed to the option of spending an extended vacation there:)

Here’s a few pics: Flight 800 Memorial, Smiths Point State Park

Smiths Point Beach

Sunset in Belmar

My brother, his wife, my two nieces and my husband.

Joe with a sculpture in Battery Park

Joe and I in Times Square

Who knew that Lady Liberty was actually an Asian man??

We tried to get the officers to cuff him but they wouldn’t

Poor baby had a rough day

Other than that bit of excitement, all I’ve been doing is cooking and cleaning and playing taxi. Normal mom stuff S’ok tho. You have an awesome time and I will be back soon, hopefully tomorrow

Here I am :D

I was over at Bloggy Moms Blog Dare tonight, and this prompt caught my eye. “What brand should hire me to represent them in social media…”

I immediately thought of Maine Coast Memorial Hospital. Now, I know this isn’t a brand, but it is a place where I have spent many many hours, and I can attest to the fact that for the most part, they do an awesome job.

My youngest was born there almost 7 years ago. I have spent countless hours in the emergency room with my husband, (panic attacks, chest pains, car accidents, dislocated knee and shoulder, and numerous incidents with stitches involved.) as he is rather accident prone.

Not to mention the countless fevers, rashes, cuts, bumps, bruises, broken things and a swallowed penny with the kids over time.

The security guard knows my name, and has most of the entry paperwork done when I get to the desk. He even knows me well enough that if we aren’t in the hospital, he comes over and we chat. (I find it amusing and yet sad at the same time.)

The nurses and most of the doctors know me on sight, and ask who I am here with this time. They were honestly shocked one day because it was actually me in the ER for a change.

So, the prompt itself is good, but am I the only one who sees how sad it is that the only thing I can come up with is the local hospital??

For some reason, links are not cooperating with me today, so I will try for that again later.

This may be a nonsense post.

I haven’t been sleeping well, so I took two sleeping pills in hopes that I may sleep tonite. So if they kick in, please bear with the typos that will come with it all.

I have decided that I need help. I need help budgeting, making menus and just making it work out in general. I can get the bills paid, but then there are issues eating, and vice versa. The general stress level has gone down a bit, but no for me. The kids and husband are doing better. I just need to kick in and figure out how to make it all work.

I was on food stamps for a while. The hubby changed jobs and they cut them totally. None of the transitional that they said I would get to make it a bit easier. So in order to make the stress go away, they give me pills, nothing heavy, just zoloft and ambien. Sometimes my mind is worse after taking them than before.

I did however get the youngest ready for school. Backpack, all the supplies, new shoes and sneakers, and some new outfits. The bigger ones will need to wait til the next week or so for theirs. Good thing htey understand.

One of my cats had kittens the other day. I’m not sure if it was from the fleas or whatnot, but they all died. Totally depressing let me tell you. Down the road, my moms cat lost all 5 of hers. Seems to be an epidemic these days. At least in my family.

The good thing is that the days are still gorgeous and we can go outside for a bit longer still. Never did get the pool up, but there’s next summer. The swingset too. But at least we have a great place to play in the snow this winter

Ok, enough insane ambien ravings. Havea lovely evening!!!

Nearing the end of summer

and I haven’t done alot of anything. I did get my back yard mostly cleared up. A bit more and it will be safe enough for the kids to out and play. It’s better than nothing. The pool is still in the box and the jungle gym is still buried in the jungle :/

But I have gotten to spend alot of time with my bestie/sister/female soul mate. Its been a good summer. Not great, but its been full of family and friends. We have built some good memories, but there have been a few not so good. Shit was stolen out of my van in my brother in laws van. Not good. There are so many druggies in this neck of the woods. I live in what used to be a nice peaceful little town. What is needed here is good old fashioned do it yourself justice. The police don’t seem to get involved in much of anything here, it seems to always be a civil matter. A few blanket parties would take care of shit.

In other news, I have yet another preggo kitty that is due to pop anytime now. I’m hoping there will only be one or two….I have enough animals now, and I get attached to easily. My poor hubby is allergic to the cats as it is, and having more would probably kill him.

I’ve got to upload some pics that I’ve taken this summer. Some actually came out good. I’ll put them up and let others be the judge.

I guess thats it for now. TTFN

Not sure what to think

or say or do. You go out of your way for years, to help someone. Give them rides at ungodly hours, make sure they have food, or a place to sleep. Then to hear that if you don’t do one thing they ask, you are a lazy fat ass. That they are going to burn your house down if you don’t give them land.

Some people think that they are just entitled to everything and are accountable for nothing. My husband, and myself have busted our asses to get the little bit that we do have.

This is another example of what drugs to a person. This person does work, but it goes up his nose. Its all drugs. He blows off his kids and wife. They don’t have a place to live or a car or very much of anything. He calls her a fat cunt and other lovely things. But she stays so I don’t know. I just don’t get it anymore. When I was young, I did similar things. I was with someone who abused me, I drank all the time, I slept around for shits and giggles. But I had children, and I grew up. I guess because I have beaten several addictions, I can’t understand why no one else can.

Anyways, that’s all I’ve got tonite. Have a great day!!!!

Summer!!!

Hey to whom every reads this. It would be nice if someone was, but hey, I’m doing this for me anyways lol.

Summer has been crazy, but in a good way . The hubs changed jobs, which is great. He is now so much happier and it great . The kids have been a bit bored, but its just been too hot to do anything, but now it has(hopefully) cooled down for a bit, so I can get them outside without having to worry about heat stroke.

Other than general running about, there hasn’t been anything exciting going on. Which in my world, is a good thing.

I actually have a few ideas for a couple of serious posts, but I need to think them through before putting them here. I have a habit of just speaking without thinking, and here it at least gives me the option of revision, so I don’t sound like a terrible person.

Have a great day!!!

Depression, heart disease and psychosis oh my!!!

Those three words have described my life for the past year. Along with diets, doctors, medications, and therapists. It has been a long road but we are finding the light at the end of the tunnel.

Its never easy when someone you love has a disease. Mental, physical or other. But you do your best to get through. The biggest thing that I learned is that it isn’t weak to ask for help. Everyone needs help. I know I am wording this very badly, but I’m in a slight fog. Been a long week with everyone getting out of school and whatnot.

Anyways, since I feel like a public service announcement anyways: If you feel at the end of the rope, whether its from doing for yourself or others, get help. No one can do it themselves.

ttfn

More meme

Just basic answers. Want in depth? Ask lol.

TRUE OR FALSE

Q: Kissed someone on your friends list? True

Q: Been arrested? True

Q: Held a snake? True

Q: Been suspended from school? True

Q: Sang karaoke? True

Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? True

Q: Laughed until you started crying? True

Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? True

Q: Kissed in the rain? True

Q: Sang in the shower? True

Q: Sat on a roof top? True

Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? True

Q: Broken a bone? True

Q: Shaved your head? False

Q: Played a prank on someone? True

Q: Shot a gun? True

Q: Donated Blood? False

LAST PERSON…

1. You hung out with? Kim

2. You texted? FB

3. You were in a car with? Joe

4. Went to the movies with? Chris i think

5. Person you went to shop with? Joe

6. You talked on the phone? Mom

7. Made you laugh? Kim

8. You hugged? Joe

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU…

1. Sang? nope

2. Listened to music? nope

3. Danced Crazy? nope

4. Cried? yup

FIRSTS …..

1.Who was your first prom (or homecoming) date? never went

2. Who was your first roommate? Susie

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? Rum

4. What was your first job? cashier

5. What was your first car? 77 Caddy coupe de ville

6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing? my dads in 1982

7. Who was your first grade teacher? OMG too long ago

8. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Boston

9. When you snuck out of your house for the first time? heh in 83

10. Who was your first best friend? Wendy

11. Who was your first Best Friend in high school? saa

12. Where was your first sleepover? way too long ago

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? mom

14. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsman? susies

15. What is the first thing you did when you got up this morning? growl

16. First time you tied your shoe laces? i was 5

17. Are you Facebook friends with your first crush? nope

18. Who was the first person you met from the blogosphere? in person? Angel

19. What was the first music album that you bought? Metloaf Bat Out of Hell (vinyl)

20. Who was your first celebrity crush? Shaun Cassidy