you ever notice

how when someone dies, you always say “i shoulda, coulda or woulda and things are going to be different” and when it comes down to it it never is any different til the next time, when the cycle starts again?

Well,the cycle has started. A very decent, kind, generous and caring person has left this plane. One who would proly smack me for saying those things about him, lol. He was my “adopted” dad. Someone who stuck up for me even in the worst of time, believed in me no matter what, and was always there for me if I needed anything. I did tell him these things once upon a time, but still, I wish that I could have one last time. Last time I saw him was 2 years ago. Even thru the divorce, when others didn’t believe me, he still did, and he stuck up for me til the end.

Now I need to tell both jobs that I am going to NY for a funeral, and the time off is going to kill me, but I have to go. There is no way around this. I am going to feel awkward and uncomfortable as there will be people that I haven’t seen since the divorce, who still think I’m the guilty one, but for Dad i will be there, just to honor his memory and show the love that i have for him.

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