Helpless….or help needed…or something like that.

I have been sitting here, wondering why I still let him victimize me. I still allow him to somewhat control crap, even after the divorce. The biggest reason he can do this is the kids. The eldest three belong to him. Biologically at least. They have all decided that he hates them, and they are worthless to him. I have tried and tried to tell them that he doesnt hate them, that he just didnt have a good childhood himself and instead of trying to change things, he decided to take the easy way and just continue the pattern. I wish I could get them to understand that they are all bright beautiful amazing girls. That they can shine in their own light. That he has no more control than they allow him to have. But the problem with that is the control that I still allow him. I am getting better at it. I had an awesome therapist who helped me deal with alot of it and ways to let him NOT get to me. But there is still and always will be the children. As soon as I can get them to understand all this, then he loses his control totally and we are done. Sorry this is all jumbled and like one giant paragraph, but I’m just so, well there are so many adjectives I could insert here I can’t pick out one. Anyways, off to work I go, and if anyone has any ideas how to help this poor old ma out, I’d be very appreciative. ­čÖé

*You can read more about it here warning, it is a long rant, and i talk about myself in the third person, i think, to distance myself from it. But if you want, have at it.*

This entry was posted in abusive ex, hope, kids, life in general, total ramblings. Bookmark the permalink.

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